Self-Compassion
/Written by: Cintra Harbold, LCPC
Recently I went through a very difficult period in which my mood was very low, and I felt physically lousy: super low energy, headache, and on top of this I contracted a stomach virus. Sounds fun, doesn’t it?
When we are feeling like this and struggling to meet the demands of work, family and daily life, the last thing on our minds is to remember to be compassionate with ourselves. We have thoughts like, “How am I going to get things done?” “This is so inconvenient!” “What’s wrong with me?” We force ourselves to keep going despite the pain, discomfort and difficult emotions. We may believe we need to be hard on ourselves to motivate and accomplish.
Over the past several years, experts such as Kristen Neff hav done a lot of research and sharing on the topic of self-compassion. She has a wonderful website, several books, and more I encourage you to check out.
Self-compassion is the idea that we are giving ourselves the same compassion we’d naturally show a friend. Self-compassion is not self-pity, self-indulgence or self-centeredness! It means being supportive of ourselves when facing a life challenge, feeling inadequate, or making a mistake. Instead of just ignoring the pain or getting carried away by negative thoughts and emotions, we stop to tell ourselves “This is really difficult right now, how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?”
In essence self-compassion means being kind and understanding with ourselves and realizing that we are human. “Through self-compassion we become an inner ally instead of an inner enemy (The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook, K. Neff, PhD, Christopher Germer, PhD).”
Referring back to the beginning of this blog and my own health issue; it turns out the symptoms of low energy and low mood I was experiencing were in large part due to a hormone imbalance and low Estrogen which I discovered thanks to some blood tests. I’ve met with my doctor and agreed upon a treatment approach. Self-compassion is also about taking action!
I bring this up because it relates to this May’s “3rd Wednesday” presentation at The Counseling Center which is all about women’s health! Sharon P. Fisher, MS, PMHNP-BC, PMH-C will be our guest speaker presenting on “Midlife Women’s Mental Health” and offering an overview of common psychological and cognitive changes women experience during perimenopause and menopause as well as treatment options.
Feel free to register for this on our website: https://www.towsoncounselingcenter.com/networking-events
